Circle of life and other stream-of-consciousness crap.

November 2013 was when I blogged about why do I love Amanda Palmer so much. Much has changed since that day, and yet most things have stayed the same. I still love Amanda Palmer.

I have promised to blog about Amanda’s concert in Kraków two years ago, and I never did. Now in a few days I will be attending another Amanda Palmer gig, this time in London. I am very excited, both for the gig itself, and for the opportunity to meet other AFP’s Patrons during the gig and the next day signing of Amanda’s book (The Art of Asking, go read it.)

Two years have passed, and I don’t feel any different.

I still work at the same company. I came back from my voyages to be moved to a different team (and a different process that I had to learn from the scratch again). And then to another. And now I am on this special assignment at the client’s location in London, staying in hotels for weeks and only coming back to Poland for some weekends. This weekend I am spending in London. I am using that to be a tourist; during the week I work until five-ish and don’t really have time for sightseeing.

I am not alone here. A colleague is with me during the week, but we swap weekends we spend here, so now she’s gone back to Poland, and I am staying here. I like being alone. I also like having company.

This year I was nominated Top Talent again. Got a small raise.

I don’t know what I’m going to be doing once this project ends and I’m back in Poland. My post in my previous team has already been filled – with two different people, actually. I’m hoping my managers will find me something interesting to do. but at this point I am rather calm. If they can’t, I will find something else for myself, if not in this company, then in another. Experienced people are a precious commodity on this market, and I am very good at what I do.

I lost a friend. She just left, without a word. Unfriended me, changed her e-mail address and phone number, moved out, left her job. It was in August. I am still reeling. I cannot understand. Maybe I never will.

I miss her.

My two other friends are fading away from my life. We all have our lives, our jobs; they have partners in addition to that. We still meet every now and again, and I still love them, but I can feel them slipping away and there’s just nothing I can do. I guess it’s my fault. Maybe I am not trying hard enough. It’s just that I am an introvert and while I don’t want to lose them, I need my alone time. It’s not a whim, it’s a necessity. I keep telling myself that I will change, but I never do.

I never change.

My strong will is too weak. (There’s a pun in it, but you have to be Polish to fully appreciate it.)

I am well.

Despite everything else, I am well.

I am alone, but well.

I am alone. Well.

Some things never to change, do they?

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About Amelia E. Adler

Born in '89, bibliophile, TV shows lover, nerd, dreamer. I stole your job. Tweet me @Amelia_E_Adler.
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